
Research
Node.js Fixes AsyncLocalStorage Crash Bug That Could Take Down Production Servers
Node.js patched a crash bug where AsyncLocalStorage could cause stack overflows to bypass error handlers and terminate production servers.
procrastimate
Advanced tools
Professional-grade procrastination, engineered.
ProcrastiMate is a satirical CLI tool that helps you delay tasks responsibly by:
This is not a productivity tool.
It is a plausibility engine.
pip install procrastimate
procrastimate "enable QR for subs flow" --severity high
🕒 ProcrastiMate Decision
Task : enable QR for subs flow
Vague : Yes
Excuse : We need to ensure cross-functional alignment and clarify ownership before moving forward.
New Date : 2025-12-31
--severity Task urgency: low, medium, high medium
--audience Target audience: manager, client, self manager
The task is analyzed for vagueness using keyword-based heuristics
An excuse template is selected based on:
A new date is suggested based on plausibility, not efficiency
No calendars. No optimization. No accountability.
This project is satire.
Do not use ProcrastiMate to:
(But also… I know you will.)
Clone the repo and install in editable mode:
pip install -e .
Run locally:
procrastimate "fix backend"
FAQs
A CLI tool for professional procrastination
We found that procrastimate demonstrated a healthy version release cadence and project activity because the last version was released less than a year ago. It has 1 open source maintainer collaborating on the project.
Did you know?

Socket for GitHub automatically highlights issues in each pull request and monitors the health of all your open source dependencies. Discover the contents of your packages and block harmful activity before you install or update your dependencies.

Research
Node.js patched a crash bug where AsyncLocalStorage could cause stack overflows to bypass error handlers and terminate production servers.

Research
/Security News
A malicious Chrome extension steals newly created MEXC API keys, exfiltrates them to Telegram, and enables full account takeover with trading and withdrawal rights.

Security News
CVE disclosures hit a record 48,185 in 2025, driven largely by vulnerabilities in third-party WordPress plugins.