womm-lang

WorksOnMyMachine (WOMM)

A programming language that actually works. On my machine, at least.

trustMeBro name = "Adarsh"

feature greet(person) {
    ifThisWorks person == "Adarsh" {
        flex("Hey " + person + ", you legend!")
    } otherwise {
        flex("Hello, " + person + ". Have you tried turning it off and on again?")
    }
}

greet(name)
blameAI()

Hey Adarsh, you legend!
The AI suggested this implementation. I am merely the victim.

What is this?

WOMM is a real, interpreted programming language with developer-meme syntax and roast-first error messages.

Most meme languages are:

Funny  +  Useless

WOMM is:

Funny  +  Actually Programmable  +  Good Error Messages  +  Easy to Ship

It has a genuine tree-walk interpreter written in TypeScript — no JavaScript transpilation underneath. The AST evaluator, lexical scoping, closures, and recursive functions all work exactly as you'd expect from a real language. The only difference is that if is ifThisWorks and errors call you out personally.

Install

npm install -g womm
# or
pnpm add -g womm

Usage

# Run a .womm file
womm run hello.womm

# Start the interactive REPL
womm repl

# Print version
womm --version

Language Reference

Variables

trustMeBro x = 42
trustMeBro name = "Adarsh"
trustMeBro isWorking = true

Print

flex("Hello, World!")
flex("Score: " + x)

Conditions

ifThisWorks x > 10 {
    flex("Big number energy")
} otherwise ifThisWorks x > 0 {
    flex("Smol but valid")
} otherwise {
    flex("Bro what")
}

Loops

trustMeBro i = 0

untilManagerArrives i < 5 {
    flex(i)
    i++
}

Functions

feature add(a, b) {
    shipIt a + b
}

trustMeBro result = add(3, 7)
flex(result)   // 10

Recursion

feature fib(n) {
    ifThisWorks n < 2 {
        shipIt n
    }
    shipIt fib(n - 1) + fib(n - 2)
}

flex(fib(10))   // 55

Comments

// future me problem

/*
    technical debt
    starts here
*/

Personality Features

These are the parts that make WOMM, WOMM.

panic()

panic("Production is on fire. Send help.")

🔥🔥🔥 PANIC 🔥🔥🔥
Production is on fire. Send help.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Halts execution immediately. No recovery. Pour one out.

blameAI()

blameAI()

The AI suggested this implementation. I am merely the victim.

Prints an AI excuse and continues. Execution resumes. Dignity does not.

managerSaid {}

managerSaid {
    flex("We need blockchain. And AI. And blockchain with AI.")
}

[WARNING] Manager involvement detected. Proceed with caution.
We need blockchain. And AI. And blockchain with AI.

Runs the block but logs a warning to stderr first. The code runs. Your soul doesn't.

techDebt {}

techDebt {
    // I'll fix this later (I won't)
    trustMeBro result = 9999
}

+50 debt score

Runs the block and increments your debt score. It accumulates across the program. There is no paying it off.

Error Messages

WOMM errors are honest about your failures.

Situation	What you get
Syntax error	Compiler had a stroke at line 4. Expected ')' but found your confidence.
Undefined variable	Bro, who is 'x'? Nobody declared it. Not me. Not you. Nobody.
Type mismatch	You can't add a number to vibes. Line 12.
Division by zero	Divided by zero. Bold strategy. Line 7.
Infinite recursion	You called yourself too many times. Same energy as sending "hey" three times.
Missing return	feature ended without shipIt. Where are you going?

Error messages include the offending source line and a ^ pointing exactly at the problem. Because you deserve to know what you did.

Examples

FizzBuzz

trustMeBro i = 1

untilManagerArrives i <= 20 {
    ifThisWorks i % 15 == 0 {
        flex("FizzBuzz")
    } otherwise ifThisWorks i % 3 == 0 {
        flex("Fizz")
    } otherwise ifThisWorks i % 5 == 0 {
        flex("Buzz")
    } otherwise {
        flex(i)
    }
    i++
}

Closures

trustMeBro count = 0

feature increment() {
    count++
    shipIt count
}

flex(increment())   // 1
flex(increment())   // 2
flex(increment())   // 3

The Full Meme Experience

trustMeBro name = "Adarsh"

feature greet(person) {
    flex("Hello " + person)

    ifThisWorks person == "Adarsh" {
        flex("Senior Bug Creator")
    } otherwise {
        flex("Welcome to the codebase. I'm sorry.")
    }
}

greet(name)

blameAI()

managerSaid {
    flex("Add blockchain")
}

techDebt {
    trustMeBro x = 1
    flex("x = " + x)
}

panic("Deploying to production on a Friday.")

Hello Adarsh
Senior Bug Creator
The AI suggested this implementation. I am merely the victim.
[WARNING] Manager involvement detected. Proceed with caution.
Add blockchain
x = 1
+50 debt score
🔥🔥🔥 PANIC 🔥🔥🔥
Deploying to production on a Friday.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

VS Code Extension

WOMM comes with a VS Code extension for syntax highlighting.

Install by opening the packages/vscode-womm/ folder in VS Code and pressing F5, or by packaging it with vsce package.

Features:

• Syntax highlighting for all keywords, strings, numbers, and comments
• Bracket matching and comment toggling
• .womm file association

Architecture

WOMM is a genuine interpreter — not a transpiler.

Source (.womm)
     ↓
  Lexer           Single-pass character scanner
     ↓               Produces Token[]
  Parser          Recursive descent, one method per grammar rule
     ↓               Produces Stmt[] AST
  Interpreter     Tree-walk evaluator
     ↓               Linked Environment scope chain
  Output              Lexical scoping, real closures

Written in TypeScript with strict mode enabled. No runtime dependencies except commander for the CLI.

Philosophy

Rule 1: Everything should read like a developer meme.

Rule 2: Errors should be funnier than Stack Overflow answers.

Rule 3: The language should actually work.

Rule 3 is the most important one. The meme is the hook. The working interpreter is the point.

Contributing

Pull requests welcome. File issues for bugs. If you write something interesting in WOMM, share it.

License

MIT — do whatever you want with it. I accept no responsibility for production deployments.

Built by Adarsh with TypeScript, memes, and questionable life choices.