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antic - npm Package Compare versions

Comparing version 1.8.0 to 1.9.0

.eslintrc

2

package.json
{
"name": "antic",
"version": "1.8.0",
"version": "1.9.0",
"description": "antics",

@@ -5,0 +5,0 @@ "preferGlobal": "true",

@@ -22,3 +22,3 @@ # antic

License curtesy of [Terin's Jokes](https://github.com/terinjokes/terinjokes)
License courtesy of [Terin's Jokes](https://github.com/terinjokes/terinjokes)

@@ -25,0 +25,0 @@ ## License

@@ -5,17 +5,38 @@ 'use strict';

var jokes = [
// originals by http://twitter.com/antic
'Atom walks into a bar. The bartender tells him to split. Everyone dies.'
,'A mouse and an elephant are walking across a bridge. The mouse turns to the elephant and says, "We make a lot of noise."'
,'A red ball says to a blue ball, "I can bounce higher than you!" The blue ball just sits in silence because it\'s an inanimate object with no mouth.'
,'A red ball says to a blue ball, "I can bounce higher than you!" The blue ball just sits in silence because it’s an inanimate object with no mouth.'
,'git commit -m "fix typeo"'
,'git commit -m "once more with feeling"'
,'Man, I spent a long time at The Gym this morning. We\'ve started calling the bathroom "The Gym".'
,'I wish I could love unicorns, but love isn\'t real.'
,'Got arrested at the airport. Apparently, security doesn\'t appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.'
,'git commit -m "synergizing backward overflow for upward mobility"' // thanks to 30 Rock
,'Hammer walks into a bar. Bartender asks him how work went today. "Nailed it!"'
,'git commit -m "fix typeo"'
// found by https://github.com/atomantic
,'A mouse and an elephant are walking across a bridge. The mouse turns to the elephant and says, "We make a lot of noise."'
,'Man, I spent a long time at The Gym this morning.\n ⇒ We’ve started calling the bathroom "The Gym".'
,'I wish I could love unicorns, but love isn’t real.'
,'Got arrested at the airport. Apparently, security doesn’t appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.'
,'You know what you get when you cross a rabbit with a rottweiler?\n ⇒ A rottweiler.'
,'You know why baby ducks walk so softly?\n ⇒ Because they can\'t walk, hardly.'
,'I farted on the elevator. It was wrong on so many levels.'
,'You know why baby ducks walk so softly?\n ⇒ Because they can’t walk, hardly.'
,'I farted on the elevator.\n ⇒ It was wrong on so many levels.'
,'I was going to make a belt out of wrist watches, but then I realized it would be a total waist of time.'
,'A doe walks out of the woods, "That’s the last time I do that for two bucks."'
,'You know why dinosours can’t talk?\n ⇒ because they’re dead.'
// from https://github.com/guahanweb
,'What do you call a boat that lies on the bottom of the ocean and quivers?\n ⇒ A nervous wreck.'
,'I was going to make a belt out of wrist watches, but then I realized it would be a total waist of time.'
,'A doe walks out of the woods, "That\'s the last time I do that for two bucks."'
// from https://github.com/mycargus
,'“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing... except when you’re at a funeral.'
,'I used to think the brain was the most important organ.\n ⇒ Then I thought, "Look what’s telling me that!"'
,'If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times: Don’t exaggerate!'
,'It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.'
,'Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows?\n ⇒ They’re making headlines everywhere!'
,'I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.'
,'I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.'
,'What is red and smells like blue paint?\n ⇒ Red paint.'
,'Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn’t. Numbers aren’t sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.'
,'A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.'
,'What’s green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.'
];

@@ -25,4 +46,4 @@

random: function () {
return jokes[random(0, jokes.length-1)];
return jokes[random(0, jokes.length - 1)];
}
};
};

@@ -20,4 +20,4 @@ 'use strict';

random: function () {
return lulz[random(0, lulz.length-1)];
return lulz[random(0, lulz.length - 1)];
}
};
};
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