Comparing version 1.8.0 to 1.9.0
{ | ||
"name": "antic", | ||
"version": "1.8.0", | ||
"version": "1.9.0", | ||
"description": "antics", | ||
@@ -5,0 +5,0 @@ "preferGlobal": "true", |
@@ -22,3 +22,3 @@ # antic | ||
License curtesy of [Terin's Jokes](https://github.com/terinjokes/terinjokes) | ||
License courtesy of [Terin's Jokes](https://github.com/terinjokes/terinjokes) | ||
@@ -25,0 +25,0 @@ ## License |
@@ -5,17 +5,38 @@ 'use strict'; | ||
var jokes = [ | ||
// originals by http://twitter.com/antic | ||
'Atom walks into a bar. The bartender tells him to split. Everyone dies.' | ||
,'A mouse and an elephant are walking across a bridge. The mouse turns to the elephant and says, "We make a lot of noise."' | ||
,'A red ball says to a blue ball, "I can bounce higher than you!" The blue ball just sits in silence because it\'s an inanimate object with no mouth.' | ||
,'A red ball says to a blue ball, "I can bounce higher than you!" The blue ball just sits in silence because it’s an inanimate object with no mouth.' | ||
,'git commit -m "fix typeo"' | ||
,'git commit -m "once more with feeling"' | ||
,'Man, I spent a long time at The Gym this morning. We\'ve started calling the bathroom "The Gym".' | ||
,'I wish I could love unicorns, but love isn\'t real.' | ||
,'Got arrested at the airport. Apparently, security doesn\'t appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.' | ||
,'git commit -m "synergizing backward overflow for upward mobility"' // thanks to 30 Rock | ||
,'Hammer walks into a bar. Bartender asks him how work went today. "Nailed it!"' | ||
,'git commit -m "fix typeo"' | ||
// found by https://github.com/atomantic | ||
,'A mouse and an elephant are walking across a bridge. The mouse turns to the elephant and says, "We make a lot of noise."' | ||
,'Man, I spent a long time at The Gym this morning.\n ⇒ We’ve started calling the bathroom "The Gym".' | ||
,'I wish I could love unicorns, but love isn’t real.' | ||
,'Got arrested at the airport. Apparently, security doesn’t appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.' | ||
,'You know what you get when you cross a rabbit with a rottweiler?\n ⇒ A rottweiler.' | ||
,'You know why baby ducks walk so softly?\n ⇒ Because they can\'t walk, hardly.' | ||
,'I farted on the elevator. It was wrong on so many levels.' | ||
,'You know why baby ducks walk so softly?\n ⇒ Because they can’t walk, hardly.' | ||
,'I farted on the elevator.\n ⇒ It was wrong on so many levels.' | ||
,'I was going to make a belt out of wrist watches, but then I realized it would be a total waist of time.' | ||
,'A doe walks out of the woods, "That’s the last time I do that for two bucks."' | ||
,'You know why dinosours can’t talk?\n ⇒ because they’re dead.' | ||
// from https://github.com/guahanweb | ||
,'What do you call a boat that lies on the bottom of the ocean and quivers?\n ⇒ A nervous wreck.' | ||
,'I was going to make a belt out of wrist watches, but then I realized it would be a total waist of time.' | ||
,'A doe walks out of the woods, "That\'s the last time I do that for two bucks."' | ||
// from https://github.com/mycargus | ||
,'“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing... except when you’re at a funeral.' | ||
,'I used to think the brain was the most important organ.\n ⇒ Then I thought, "Look what’s telling me that!"' | ||
,'If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times: Don’t exaggerate!' | ||
,'It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.' | ||
,'Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows?\n ⇒ They’re making headlines everywhere!' | ||
,'I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.' | ||
,'I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.' | ||
,'What is red and smells like blue paint?\n ⇒ Red paint.' | ||
,'Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn’t. Numbers aren’t sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.' | ||
,'A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.' | ||
,'What’s green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.' | ||
]; | ||
@@ -25,4 +46,4 @@ | ||
random: function () { | ||
return jokes[random(0, jokes.length-1)]; | ||
return jokes[random(0, jokes.length - 1)]; | ||
} | ||
}; | ||
}; |
@@ -20,4 +20,4 @@ 'use strict'; | ||
random: function () { | ||
return lulz[random(0, lulz.length-1)]; | ||
return lulz[random(0, lulz.length - 1)]; | ||
} | ||
}; | ||
}; |
License Policy Violation
LicenseThis package is not allowed per your license policy. Review the package's license to ensure compliance.
Found 1 instance in 1 package
License Policy Violation
LicenseThis package is not allowed per your license policy. Review the package's license to ensure compliance.
Found 1 instance in 1 package
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